It has been eight weeks now since my mother has passed. While I think of her every day that goes by, the process of saying goodbye is just that, a process. I am coming to accept, slowly as it may be, that she is gone and that I will never speak to or be with her ever again. While in many ways I do not believe that I have fully come to terms with what has happened, I am finding comfort in a concept that I was introduced to to in recovery, that of acceptance. My work is to stand in the space of acceptance.
While the process of saying goodbye is still painful it is assisted by accepting that what happened did happen in the way that it was supposed to happen. It was perfect, perfect cause it happened in God’s world. My work, as difficult as it may be at times, is about coming to terms with what happened, of learning to accept it fully, not make anything wrong about the process and knowing that it happened as it was intended to happen. Acceptance is about accepting that my mother passed in the way that she did and that it could not have been any other way.
Everyday is about saying goodbye to my mother, being gratitude that she brought me into the world, that she was there for me in so many ways and that she loved me without condition.
