Living Life from Fear and Creating the Possibility of Transformation

For many, myself included, life tends to be lived from a state of fear.  The feeling or emotion of fear can, it seems, paralyze you, stopping you from living life.  It can appear as though your entire existence is about being in a state of fear.  How we respond to the fear can present a problem to many, again, myself included.  Sometimes we deal with the fear of people, places and things by using a variety of substances to subdue the feelings we are having, the fear, making us feel better if only for a short period of time.  We tend to merely focus on changing the emotion itself and not the root cause of the emotion.

As difficult as it may be, the only true transformation of fear, is through changing the thoughts that generate the emotion of fear.  We know that how and what we think does in fact cause us to feel a certain way.  What and how we think will cause our feelings.  Our emotions or feelings are merely how our body experiences our thinking or thought pattern.  The true focus has to be to transform our thinking process, to change the thoughts and beliefs that we have about something.

The most important thought or belief that we have is one that has to do with us.  What we think and believe about ourselves does matter.  It matters a lot.  It is this belief that determines our life.  How and what we think about ourselves creates our experiences. We are truly the cause of our life and it our thinking about ourselves that is the root or source of our life.  What we do, the experiences that we have, have to be in alignment with what we think and feel about ourselves.  To transform your life you have to transform what you think and feel about ourselves.  This process of primary to your transformation.

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Negative Emotions are from our Past.

Many of us live in negativity, in having negative emotions.  We experience negative emotions, sometimes more and sometimes less throughout the day.  These negative emotions, call them fear, anger, sadness, guilt, etc., are emotions that are created by us from the past and then allowed to enter and even rule our present day state of existence.  For some of us, we live in them, unable at times, to escape the pain that we experience as a result of having them.  Eventually we start to believe that they define us, and even, that we will have them forever, that they are apart of our very existence.

To heal the negative emotional constraints of the past can be difficult work.  Sometimes we are not sure how to do it.  And sometimes, even when we do know what to do, we slip back into having them in our life.  For some there is even a pay off for continuing to have them in our daily life.  However, when we finally decide to let go of the negative emotions that cause us pain we are left with forgiveness and acceptance.

Forgiveness is merely letting go of that which happened.  Acceptance is getting that what happened happened the way that it was supposed to happen and that nothing ultimately is or was wrong.  Given this perspective, everything happens in divine order, the way that it is supposed to happen.  Our work is to not get attached to it, to what happened, to let it go, and to understand fully that is happened as it was supposed to happen.  Acceptance may very well be the answer to all of our problems.

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Reflections on a Passing.

It has been four weeks now since my mother passed.  The emotions that I have experienced have been many.  I miss her greatly and will mourn awhile longer, this I know.  She was a woman who meant so many things to me, a mother, a friend, a soul that I could have intense conversations with about many things, including transformative topics.  I will miss my talks with her as well as my knowing that she is there for me in so many ways.

The passing of my mother has made me think about a lot of things.  My mortality for one, somehow knowing that my death is very real and something that I will eventually experience.  I was there to watch her leave this realm of existence, when she took her last breath.  I know that we are not immortal in this sense, that I too shall past at some point.  I am now much more present to his fact. Some of us forget this point, or do not consider it, and as a result live our life as if we will live forever.

Such insight and awareness has gotten me to again reevaluate my purpose for being here, on this planet and as a human being.  More than even I know that we are just renting everything that we have materialistically, that we own nothing, and that what matters, truly matters, is other people, to be of service, specifically.  The highest purpose of a human being is to be of service to others. All we have is this and our love for others, it is all that truly matters.  To live our life as if we will live forever is to miss the point.  We must die before we die, as Tolle wrote.  As mother once told me about my father, my father passing two years before her, he did not even take his pajamas with him.

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Our true intention shows up in our actions.

Our true intention will show up in our actions.  What we do and how we behave will reveal our real intention, regardless of what we say or express verbally.  It is important in any change process, including the recovery program, to plan or say your intention.  Plan and express your intention each morning upon awakening and stay present to it throughout the day.  What are you committed to today?  What are you committed to now?  What is it that you want to create in your life?  What is it that you want to create now?

To fulfill on our intention will require a plan, both a recovery plan and a daily action plan, tools to bring about ones intention.  First is the recovery plan, a general direction in which you will go, the goals that you will attempt to accomplish.  Remember to develop your recovery plan.  Plan your work.  Your recovery plan is about your life and your integrity.  Once created, are you in integrity with your recovery plan?  Are you in integrity with your life?

Next is your daily action plan, how you will bring your recovery plan into reality and your day to day life.  Remember to create your daily action plan daily.  Always work this plan daily.  Your daily action plan is about your commitment and integrity with respect to your recovery plan.  Your daily action plan is about fulfilling on your intention and commitments.  Your daily action plan is about keeping your recovery plan in existence.

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The Power of Witnessing a Passing

Last thursday I had the honor of witnessing the passing of someone very dear to me.  Last thursday my mother passed and I able to witness it.  I was there to watch her pass, to watch her take her last breath.  An extraordinary woman who gave birth to me, who watched me take my first breath, I was given the honor of watching her take her last.  For someone that I never imagined would pass, she did.

One of the things that I again became present to is the notion of impermanence. As Dan Milman once wrote in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, everything changes, nothing stays the same.  We sometimes believe and act as if we will live forever. We do not really get that change is the only constant, that we too will change physically and eventually pass.  We enhance the power of our being by getting that life is fragile and that we need to live it from the notion that our life will eventually go out of existence, that we too will pass.

When we live life from the perspective of impermanence we act and behave differently.  For me it is about being of service, of creating for the benefit of others, to do for others in order to enhance their life.  I know that I too will eventually pass.  Until then my life will be about service to others.

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Staying Hungry for your recovery and transformation.

The key to any change is ones motivation to do the work and change ones life.  If the desire to change is not present then there will be no change, no recovery and no transformation.  We have to have the desire to be different and to show up differently before we change, before we actually transform our life and show up differently.  We have to do what we need to do to keep this desire alive, to keep it showing up for us regardless of takes place in our life, regardless of the things that life throughs at us.  Simply put, we have to stay hungry for our change, for our transformation, for our recovery.  It is inside of this hungry that we have to continue to do the work, whatever it is that is necessary for us to bring about the transformation into our life.  Given that our recovery and transformation passes out of existence when we go to sleep in the evening, we have to reinvent or transform ourselves every morning when we get up, we have recreate our program of recovery and transformation everyday upon our awaking.

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