Footprints of a life after a passing.

My mother passed on July 1st of this year.  The experience and time that has passed after it have been difficult to say the least.  Shortly after my mother passed we started to put her affairs and estate into order.  Part of this process was the cleaning of her house in preparation for it being sold.  All of the material objects that she possessed and loved are in the process of leaving her house.  My brother told me during the process that mom’s footprints are being erased from life.

While I get what he said I do not think that this is completely true.  Much of what she had and even created will disappear and either cease to exist or be transferred to others.  However, it is my belief that her most important footprints were her children, me being one of them.  She and my father created us, nurtured us and guided us through live.  It is up to us to honor her and our father by being of service to others in the world.  We are her footprints that matter in life.  With the transferring of our way of being to our children we continue to keep her footprints as well as my father’s, alive.

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The Acceptance of a Passing.

On July 1st my mother passed.  I was there to witness it, to witness her taking her last breathe.  I feel honored to have been there.  This is was loving woman, my mother, who brought me into the world.  I had the honor of witnessing her leaving it.

The emotions and feelings over the past seven weeks have been many.  I miss her, I am sad beyond words.  I at times will call her house, and leave a message on the answering machine as if she will answer it, knowing full well she will not.  I know it is about my grieving process and I know that this is what I have to do to heal myself.  The loss is, along with the passing of my father, one the biggest things that I have ever experienced.

While difficult as it may be, I know that I will come to accept it, to know that it happened in divine order.  The passing of my mother is the way that it was meant to be, and my work is to accept it completely.  My acceptance will not take away the love I have for her, that will remain with me forever.  My work is simply to surrender to her passing, as I eventually must to my own when it happens.

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A passing can put things and life in perspective.

My mother passed approximately two weeks ago.  My father passed two years ago this month.  While I was not present at my father’s passing, I was there for my mother, to witness her leaving this realm of existence.  It was a very powerful experience and one that can teach me even in her leaving.

What I became present to, something that my mother and I discussed after my dad passed, was that we do not take anything with us when we pass.  Mom’s comment was that my dad did not even take his pajamas with him.  Like my father, mom too took nothing physical with her.  I hope she took my love though.

Given that I too will eventually pass, I must stay present to what is important and also the fact that I will take nothing with me as well.  Everything that I have is on loan to me, I am merely using it and borrowing it for a certain period of time.  We own nothing, we keep nothing, we merely use things.  Many people believe that opposite from this fundational belief.  From this I get that what is important is my relationship to others and myself.  Being of service to others and taking care of myself in the best way possible is what is truly important.  It is from this conversation that we can put life in perspective.

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