Fear as a Daily Reminder for Creating Possibility in my Life

Everyday I experience the emotion of fear.  Fear that I will not make it, that something will go wrong in my life, that things will not turn out good or the way I want.  Mostly I experience fear that I will not realize my dream, that I will fail.  This fear happens sometimes in the morning, during the day and even in the evening when I am apparently safe at home.  It comes up when I am engaged in my work, when I am attempting to create my dream.  It even shows up when I least expect it.  The intensity also varies, sometimes more and sometimes less.  In the past the fear has stopped me and has a tendency to do so now.  The mistake that I have and sometimes still make is to respond to the fear and not look under neither it, for what is generating it.

When I stop and do not respond or react to the fear, I can take a look at what is causing the fear.  I know that fear is merely an emotion, the way my body is experiencing a thought or belief.  This insight is invaluable in my transformation and with the creating of possibility out of the experience of fear.  When I experience the emotion of fear I will pause for a moment and become present to that which is causing it.  It is the belief that I am not enough and that no matter what that things do not turn out good, that I will not succeed.  The space for change is to be present to this insight and then create possibility, to create another thought or belief that will replace the negative one.  It is relaxing and taking the opportunity to generate a new thought that eventually takes me out of the fear that is part of my current work.

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Moving Through Fear on a Daily Basis

As I go on the journey of transforming myself and creating my dream I am faced with the emotion of fear on a daily basis.  It seems that as I take on working and completing something with my dream that the emotion of fear is somewhere in the back ground.  Sometimes it appears in the fore ground.  Nevertheless the emotion of fear is always present in my life these days and something that I have to continually move through to continue my work.

If I do not continue to move into and through fear it would probably stop me, stop me from doing what I am up to, creating a life that I want to live, fulfilling my dream.  I know that the purpose of the emotion is to stop me.  It almost seems as though it wants me to not only stop creating but even to fail.  I know that inside the emotion of fear is the thought process of not being enough, that things do not turn out, that I will be a failure somehow.

My work is to not get attached to either the emotion or the thinking that generates it.  I must acknowledge it.  I must never pretend that it is not there or appearing for me.  I must acknowledge its existence, let it go and continue to move in the direction that I want.  Even in the face of fear and the thoughts under neither it, I must stay committed and engaged with respect to creating my dream.

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Facing Fear and Moving Through It to Transform our Life

Fear is an emotion that can cripple us, can stop us cold from creating the life that we want.  For some the tendency is to make the emotion of fear go away.  For some their way of making the emotion of fear disappear is to medicate it, use drugs and alcohol to numb the emotion.  For some this manner of dealing with the emotion of fear is perceived of as the solution.  While not a true and lasting solution, soon the habit of using drugs and alcohol sets in and the addiction is created.

I have found that facing the fear is the only true and lasting solution.  Having some insight into this process can be very valuable. First, fear is an emotion.  Second, as with all emotions, they are generated or created by our thinking.  The emotion of fear, like all emotions, does not exist without thoughts or thinking being there to bring them into existence.  Change the thinking or thought process and emotions necessarily change.  There is no changing emotions without changing your thoughts.

Our thoughts and thinking process has a core.  There is a core belief that tends to generate our thinking process or pattern.  This core belief is always about us.  It is a fundamental belief that we have about ourselves, about our value and worth as a human being.  Most every other thought that we have or experience is created from the context of this basic, core belief about who we think we are.  The origin of this belief is something that we created.  We are in every sense of the word responsible for its creation.

Taking responsibility for the creation of this core, fundamental belief is absolutely necessary for ones transformation.  Unless we do assume this responsibility for what we think and belief about ourselves we will stay trapped in an endless loop of irrational thinking and negative life experiences.  We will stay trapped in always blaming someone or something for our situation and as such never able to move past the negative experiences that we are having.  We will be a prisoner of our belief about who we think we are and never able to experience freedom.

Our transformation will only be gotten by becoming fully present to who we think we are and from this insight alter the fundamental, core belief that is not only false but that has been running our life.  More on this soon.

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The Process of Transformation, about the Two Voices in my Head.

On a daily basis I struggle with the inner voices that I am very present to now.  One is the voice of the past, filled with self doubt, filled with negative affirmations, that things will not work out, something always goes wrong, you will not succeed.  And the other voice, from the present, the one that I am generating now, one that is filled with possibility, you deserve to create a future of endless wealth and prosperity.  The process of transformation for me involves the movement between these two voices.

At some moments during the day I feel filled with hope and possibility, that I will be able to create my dreams, that I will be able to succeed at that which I am creating now.  At other times I am filled with self doubt and even with the certainty that things will not  go the way I want or desire.  The emotional state of each voice is very different.  The former generating a sense of happiness and joy while the latter is about me feeling fear and despair.

What I am learning is about how to react to the two voices that compete in my head, especially that from my past.  When I become aware of the voice of the past, attempting to limit or even stop my dreams from becoming a reality, I merely sit with the voice.  Being present to this voice while not engaging it, simply acknowledging it without trying to fight it or make it go away, resulting in my refusal now to give it the power that I once gave it.

Once acknowledged, I then begin to practice letting it go, of getting that it truly involves a story about myself that I have make up, that it is not reality or reflective of the truth.  From this insight I begin to generate or create with my thought and word the language of the voice that I want to experience as my reality.  Knowing that both voices exist gives me power to practice choosing which I will be at any given moment.  It is work though, to be mindful of my inner self talk and how it attempts to take over and run my life.

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Facing the Struggle of Life through Transformation

In my new venture there are times during the day that my life seems as though it is a struggle, and sometimes even too much to deal with.  Filled with fear and self doubt, I face life daily, attempting to create a new path for myself.  While I have been working very hard at creating a new vocation for myself, I am faced with obsticules through out the day.  The main one that I face each morning when I wake up is myself.

While there things, people, places and things, that appear to get in our way the only one that truly matters is ourselves.  I get in my way constantly.  I create, with my thoughts and word, excuses as to why I can not make it in my new venture, how I will fall short and fail, that nothing works out.

My work with the machine in my head is first to be aware.  Be aware of the inner self talk, of the negative chatter.  Be aware that it is I that will attempt to create another agenda for me, one different from the one that I have consciously created to transform my life.  Once aware I need not be fearful as can not change the language of the machine, of the mind.  It is here that such modalities as positive affirmations are so important.  It is through our self talk, how we view ourselves, that we begin to transform our life.

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A Comment on Facing the Emotion of Fear and Pushing through it.

Sometimes we get caught up in the emotion of fear.  Sometimes experiencing fear on a daily basis will stop us from becoming our possibility, of moving forward in life.  The only solution is to face the emotion of fear.  We must face it directly.  We must surrender to the emotion of fear and move into it, not try to avoid it, if we are to move through and past it.  Sometimes we try to make it go away by using drugs or alcohol.  However, it is only in facing it directly that you start to give it up or let go of the ability of fear to control us, of it directing and ruling my life.  Face it and give up trying to make it go away.  Trying to make it go away is not facing it but avoiding the work.

The fear has been created by our thoughts and beliefs, our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.  The fear and the thinking process that created it are from our past.  It is only in facing the fear and affirming ourselves a new that we start to transform our life.  We must relax the body, face the fear, and any consequences that we have created as a result of living in it, and start to create our life from the present, by constantly declaring ourselves as different, different from who we think we are from our past.  Facing fear directly gives us the opportunity to give up the fear of our experience of fear.  While not always an easy process it is necessary for one to live differently.

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A Comment about the Power of Relaxation Music to Transform

In addition to my monitoring my body, to being aware of how I am feeling, and practicing the relaxation exercise that I have written about, I am also using the therapeutic relaxation music that I have created to help me relax even more.  I am finding that listening to the relaxation music repeatedly helps me to not only relax at the time that I am listening to it but also assists me in staying relaxed more during the day.  It is as though listening to the music helps to not only create a sense of relaxation at the moment but also begins to condition my body to be or exist in a relaxed and balanced state or way of being.  This relaxed state of being will help my body to heal from certain physical conditions that I have created over time from existing in a state of fear and survival but also will allow for the transformation of my mind and way of thinking.  When relaxed we are more open to suggestions, to new ideas, to ideas and beliefs that are counter to the primary beliefs that have been running the show, to my self limiting beliefs.  Being tense and stressed only restricts us, causes us to be defensive and less open to that which will truly transform us, a change in our thinking, a change in who we think we are, my self limiting belief and belief system.

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Creating a State of Relaxation during the Day

The latest part of my practice of transformation is to notice when I am tense, on edge even.  What this requires of me is to notice how I am feeling at the moment.  I simply practice directing my awareness to my body, asking myself how I am feeling at the moment.  What I am finding more times than not is that I am tense.  Most of the time I find that my body is experiencing a state of being stressed.

Once noticed I simply practice relaxing my body.  It is a letting go of the tenseness.  Given this work I know that when I am tense that I am in a state of fear, on guard, preparing for something negative to happen.  To respond differently I simply relax my body and the tenseness eventually dissipates.  I feel more at ease, more relaxed.

This part of my practice takes a lot of awareness.  Even when I do the exercise I know that my body will tense up again, sometimes very soon.  This type of work takes a lot of discipline.  Creating the awareness of a new habit requires that I connect back to my body and how it is feeling at any given time.  Even though I know that my body will become tense again I am getting releif from this practice.  I must stay dedicated to monitoring my body and how it is feeling.

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A Story from My Past about My Present

I was recently introduced to someone.  It was not like I was introduced to him in person but rather from the point of view of a story about him.  I am not even sure of where he was from.  He was an American Indian.  I believe he was in his late twenties.  One afternoon upon arriving back to his village he was horrified to find that everyone in his tribe had been killed.  Not just killed but slauttered.

At the site of his friends and family have been massacured, he started to experience a range of negative emotions.  He naturally started to feel horrified and shocked at what happened.  The sight of all of his friends and family being dead was too much for him.  The experience was over whelming.

After the initial shock of the event, he also started to experience other emotions.  He started to feel extreme fear, fear that his own life was at risk and could be threatened, that something bad was gong to happen to him.  The fear and terror left him unable to relax, always on edge, always looking over his shoulder, so to speak.  Having these emotions, he now found himself totally alone, lost and abandoned in the world.

In addition, the man started to feel responsible for what had happened to his village and with this, guilt started to set in.  He was not there to help.  He should have been there, he thought.  He was away from his community and not able to help his friends and family in time of need.  From the guilt this man started to punish himself as time went on.  He started to create that he did not deserve to have a happy existence.  As a result of this experience, he created the belief that something was wrong with him and that things in life turn out bad. Eventually this man died.

When I heard this story it made more than sense to me, it spoke the truth about my present life.

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My Tendency is to Create Negative Stories in My Mind

When I start to experience fear, as I sometimes do on a daily basis, I start to create a story in my mind.  The story is about how the emotion of fear is justified, that something bad will happen.  I believe at times that something bad will always happen to me, that it is just a matter of time.  This type of thinking keeps me on edge, waiting for the disaster to happen.  It also keeps me in a state of fear.

Instead of reacting to the fear, and doing something to sooth the emotion, I have been merely sitting with it, relaxing, breathing and waiting.  I am getting it that I am creating the story, and this insight helps to some degree.  Much of my fear is not reality based.  It is coming from inside me, from the thought that something is wrong, with me, and that I deserve for nothing to work out in my life.  This is a belief that I have had with me for along time.  It is like a virus in my mind, directing my life, at times determining it.

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