The Acceptance of a Passing.

On July 1st my mother passed.  I was there to witness it, to witness her taking her last breathe.  I feel honored to have been there.  This is was loving woman, my mother, who brought me into the world.  I had the honor of witnessing her leaving it.

The emotions and feelings over the past seven weeks have been many.  I miss her, I am sad beyond words.  I at times will call her house, and leave a message on the answering machine as if she will answer it, knowing full well she will not.  I know it is about my grieving process and I know that this is what I have to do to heal myself.  The loss is, along with the passing of my father, one the biggest things that I have ever experienced.

While difficult as it may be, I know that I will come to accept it, to know that it happened in divine order.  The passing of my mother is the way that it was meant to be, and my work is to accept it completely.  My acceptance will not take away the love I have for her, that will remain with me forever.  My work is simply to surrender to her passing, as I eventually must to my own when it happens.

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Commitment in the Face of our Self Limiting Belief.

One of the keys to transformation is to honor our commitment to transforming our life.  Once we create the intention to transform we set into motion the particulars and specifics of what it will take for us to create the life that we say we want.  Such a process will involve having integrity, staying to that which we say we will do, completing it the way it was supposed to happen and doing that which we need to do to its completion.

Once we set this process into motion things may start to happen.  No, they will happen, roadblocks will appears where before there were none.  Things will happen in life, things will appear as though they are blocking our transformation.  Our work is to move through them, to accept things as they are, to give up our resistance to how things are, to surrender, and to push on anyway.

One of the barriers or constraints that we will be confronted with will not be about other people, places and things. Rather, the roadblock will be something we generate.  It will be our very thoughts and beliefs, thoughts and beliefs that we have about ourselves.  We will create the limits to that which we live our life, and we will do so with respect to and in conflict with our intention to transform our life.  What it will take is for us to stay present to our commitment and even in the face of our self limiting belief, transform who we think we are, who we are to ourselves and the world.  We simply have to do the work.

Chapter One – Take 100 % Responsibility For Your Life.

In the process of transforming my life I have taken on the reading and applying the work of Jack Canfield and his book, Success Principles.

As with anything, the principles for success will work if I work them. No one other than me can do that which is suggested of and for me to do. As I also know repetition is the key, the key to the implementation and realization of the principles. Suggestions get made, and sometimes I do as requested and then again, sometimes I resist. I surrender to that which I need to do to transform my life or I resist, not wanting to do what is necessarily for me to change or transform my life. Being patient but persistent is also key. Work the principles fully and completely and practice perseverance, never giving up, is crucial for me to be a success.

Chapter One – Take 100 % Responsibility For Your Life.

First, I must get that I am not entitled to anything, anything in life. There is no one that is responsible for making sure that my life is fulfilled, exciting, and that I am happy. Nothing is suppose to or should happen in my life.

There is only one person who is responsible for the quality of my life and that person is me, me alone. I need to, if I am to transform my life, take 100 % responsibility for my life and all of the experiences that I have had and will have in the future. This amounts to me taking responsibility for my achievements, relationships, state of my health, income, feelings, in short, everything that I experience.

However, much of my life has been about not taking responsibility, of blaming others for my situation and circumstances, what is happening in my life. I sometimes have a tendency to blame something or someone outside of myself for the parts of my life that I do not like. It is time to stop looking outside of myself for the reason and answers to why I have not had or created the life that I have wanted. It is time to look to myself.

Taking responsibility, full responsibility, means that I have to acknowledge that I have created everything in my life, everything that has and will happen to me. I am the cause of all my experiences, I am the cause in the matter. To take full and complete responsibility for my experiences I will have to give up blaming and complaining. It is only by getting that I truly created my current conditions that I can recreate my life, the nature of the experiences that I have. Taking full responsibility will allow me to assume my power to recreate my life anew.

Important to this process is to give up all of my excuses, of being a victim, all the reasons why I can not do, of blaming outside circumstances and situations, thereby allowing me to assume and acknowledge my power to redirect and recreate my life. I have always had this power. I am always creating my life regardless of whether or not I acknowledge it or not. I am in truth always responsible. It is only through choice that I make a conscious effort or decision to take and assume, to acknowlege, 100% responsibility for all of my experiences, for everything that does or does not happen to me.

When something does not happen the way that I wanted it to happen, I need to ask myself how I created it, what was I thinking, what were or are my beliefs, or what did I do or not do to create the situation. Just as important I need to become present to what I need to do differently to create a different result, to get the result that I want.

According to Canfield, the event that happens plus my response to the event gets me the outcome, what I experience. If I do not like the outcome I can do one of two things. I can blame the event. Or I can focus on and assume that the cause is my response to the event. I can simply accept the event and focus my efforts on changing my responses to the event. I can change my thinking or my actions with respect to the event. Much of my life has been about blaming the event whether it be a person, place or thing. The key to transforming my life will be to stay present to my response to the events that happen.

What I have control over is the thoughts that I have, the actions that I take and the images that I visualize in my mind. How I use these three things will determine my experiences, my responses to events in my life. The key to having different outcomes or experiences is to change one or all of them, change my thoughts to more positive ones, change what I dream about, my habits, what I read, my friends and how I talk or communicate. If I keep doing what I have done I get what I have always gotten. If I want different experiences or outcomes then I must do differently.

Suggestions:

1. Examine my thoughts and beliefs. Does my thinking stop or hinder me? Change the ones that are barriers to my life.

2. Examine my actions. Do my actions get me what I want? Change my behavior to be in alignment with what I want.

3. Examine how I communicate to others and myself.

4. Give up blaming others, people, places and things completely for my experiences.

5. Give up complaining completely about my experiences.

6. Pay attention to the “yellow alerts.” Pay attention to my experiences that are alerting me to the fact that I need to respond differently to an event. The “yellow alerts” can be internal or external. Pay attention to the feedback that will be given to me.

7. Be aware of or conscious of my thoughts and actions.

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