What I am becoming present to in my new project for my life.

I am now going out on my own to create a business of selling my relaxation music to the world.  In this new venture I am working very hard and many long hours.  As the journey continues I am learning a great deal.  I am learning many new technical things that I did not know before.  While there are mistakes being made there is also many new things that are getting done and created.

One thing I am now very aware of is how I attempt to stop myself.  The attempts to slow down if not stop my work are coming from me, from my mind, from my thought process.  When I start to take on doing certain things in the project, new things that I have never attempted before, I hear this voice telling me that it will not work, that my efforts will not be fruitful or that I can not learn how to do it.  My work is making me very aware of this inner voice that is attempting to stop me.

My continuing work is to acknowledge the voice as is staying what it says and then continue with my new vocational venture anyway.  I am working hard not to resist it or create another negative conversation about it.  I simply listen to this inner voice and then get back into that which I working on achieving in my drive to be an independent individual.  I have always worked for others and now am in the game of working for myself primarily.

The voice is my self limiting belief and is from the past.  It is a voice that wants to keep telling me that something is wrong with me and that things always turn out bad.

Itunes Store and the Relaxation Music of Harry Henshaw and Enhanced Healing

The Acceptance of a Passing.

On July 1st my mother passed.  I was there to witness it, to witness her taking her last breathe.  I feel honored to have been there.  This is was loving woman, my mother, who brought me into the world.  I had the honor of witnessing her leaving it.

The emotions and feelings over the past seven weeks have been many.  I miss her, I am sad beyond words.  I at times will call her house, and leave a message on the answering machine as if she will answer it, knowing full well she will not.  I know it is about my grieving process and I know that this is what I have to do to heal myself.  The loss is, along with the passing of my father, one the biggest things that I have ever experienced.

While difficult as it may be, I know that I will come to accept it, to know that it happened in divine order.  The passing of my mother is the way that it was meant to be, and my work is to accept it completely.  My acceptance will not take away the love I have for her, that will remain with me forever.  My work is simply to surrender to her passing, as I eventually must to my own when it happens.

Itunes Store and the Relaxation Music of Harry Henshaw

Reflections upon my Transformation.

To transform my life is not about just changing it, the outside or external parts of my life.  It is about transforming my thoughts, my thinking, and more importantly, who I think I am.  This fundamental core belief about my identity, who I am in the world, is very difficult to alter, as it has been around along time and has been supported in a variety of ways.  For the most part, and for many, it is hidden from view, hidden from the individual who life it rules.

This transformation to which I refer is difficult as my core belief, my self limiting belief, attempts to stay in control.  It does not want to change, as it is my identity, who I think I am.  We must have an identity, even if it is negative one.  The transformation that will take place is slow and will require consistent and constant effort.  The intervention that I am using is the use of positive affirmations.  Saying and writing the positive affirmations everyday will eventually transform a person’s life and ultimately who he or she thinks they are in the world and in life.

Itunes Store and the Relaxation Music of Enhanced Healing