The question, “Who Are We?” or “Who Am I?” is one that man has been struggling with for many years. There have been many answers put forth by various thinkers throughout the ages as to who we really are. I believe that as long as we attempt to define ourselves as something separate, as this or that, that we will never know or experience who we really are. It is only be getting the unity of ourselves with the world, with reality, that we have the possibility of experiencing who we really are. From being separate, from perceiving and believing that we are separate from others and everything in the world, do we experience pain, life being a struggle, and the human conditions that seem to haunt humanity. It is by experiencing our unity that we find the answer to the above mentioned question. As Tolle wrote in A New Earth, “Underneath the surface appearane, everything is not only connected with everything else, but also with the Source of all life out of which it came. Even a stone, and more easily a flower or a bird, could show you the way back to God, to the Source, to yourself.”
As human beings we have many fears. One is the fear of dying. Sometimes we think about it and many times we dont, rather just pushing it away to maybe think about another time. We simply fear death as we believe it will be our end of existence.
I started to lose my fear of death during my attendance at my father’s funeral. It is like I learned still another thing from him. My father dying simply made it ok for me to die. That my father faced death gives me the ability and strength to face it as well. With my father passing death no longer is something to be feared.
I learned alot from my father while he was alive and as it seems, I learned one of the most important things with his passing.
Sometimes transformation can take place in a moment. One moment was when my father had died and I was attending his funeral. In a moment I got it that nothing is permanent, nothing lasts forever. We will not live forever even though we sometimes act and live our lives as if we will. We are going to die. We can take nothing, absolutely nothing material with us when we do die. What I also got was how my father had helped countless people and never once told his family about it.
It was at that moment, in the midst of a transforming moment, that I got that the only true purpose or intention for me was to be of service to others. It was at that moment that I committed myself to such a purpose. Staying present to our human condition, that we will die, is very empowering and freeing, and a moment to stand in to seek my higher purpose in life.
At times it will appear as though my life and what I do in my efforts to assist others is very inauthentic. At times I do not stay consistent with the work that I suggest to others. Lately I have gotten very present to the inauthentic nature of my way of being and how it will show up in my profession. I strive to not pretend and to not hide out when I am with others. Part of staying and being authentic is staying grounded in the present, the Now. This can be difficult especially as we make it that way with our thoughts and word. It can be easy to get caught up in something that has little to do with being in the present or moment. At times i get consumed thinking about my future, what it will be like and wondering if I can manage it, something that has not happened yet. Or I tend to wonder back into the past. Whether I experience anxiety or guilt I leave the only thing that I have that is real, the present. It is this staying present that I believe is part of the fundamental connection to God, to the Source, to that from which all that is real and true comes.
When a client comes to me to engage in the counseling process I always have an initial conversation about having an agenda. An agenda is about having something specific to discuss in the counseling session. This something is something that the client wants to work on and achieve some sort of resolution to by the end of the counseling session. Consistently having an agenda ready for the session, after the initial session, is a statement about the person’s commitment and intention for the process of counseling, to their willingness to change. If the individual comes to a session with no agenda then that person is not ready or willing to work on any particular problem in his or her life during the session. Furthermore, there is no sense of responsibility on the person’s part for wanting to resolve certain parts of his or her life. I have this conversation about having an agenda both for individual and group counseling sessions.
Research is showing that consistent use of both therapeutic relaxation music and breathing exercising do help to lower a person’s blood pressure. I have currently created a product that combines therapeutic relaxation music and a guided breathing exercise to help a person lower his or her blood pressure. The primary purpose is to teach a person how to breathe in a manner that will lower his or her blood pressure and then give him or her a variety of therapeutic relaxation music selections to practice the exercise.
There is a line in the Big Book that is crucial to the recovery process for anyone, for a person in AA or NA. “The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.” It makes reference to being the first requirement for a very important reason. The implication from this line is about taking suggestions. In the beginning of the recovery process the ability of a person to accept and follow suggestions will make a big difference in whether or not he or she is able to do recovery successfully. It may even been what keeps a person alive or not. It is one of the first components of my work with other in recovery that gets processed and discussed, both in group and individual settings. How a person is in their ability to follow suggestions needs to be confronted and processed almost immediately as most individuals in recovery want to do life their way.