One way to effectively deal with a breakdown or upset, especially if it is creating the urge to drink or do drugs, is to talk with another human being. Keeping an upset to yourself or keeping it up in your head is a receipt for disaster. Something negative will probably happen to your if you do not share what is going on with you. This is why it is important to create a support network of people you can call, sponsor, therapist or friends in recovery.
The second way to begin to effectively deal with an upset or breakdown is to take a look at what you are not accepting about the situation, people, places or things. Most if not all upsets and breakdowns are about having something happen that we believe should not have happened even though it did. Our work, and it is work, is to accept what happened, to eventually get it that everything happens in the way it is supposed to happen. Our work is to take that on as a possibility and in the work to accept fully what we did not once accept.
Music has always been a very important part of our lives. As a part of our experience, music can have both a physiological and psychological affect upon us as human beings. Music also has many therapeutic qualities and has been utilized in promoting a variety of healings throughout the ages. As we know further, music can be a very powerful medium for altering our state, of changing how we actually feel. Music can be very effective in producing a very deep and healing state of relaxation and in the process, reduce stress and even promote sleep. Music can also be used to assist one in improving his or her self-esteem and furthering an individualís personal growth and development, transformation.
As a therapist I have always used relaxation music in my clinical and counseling work with others. I have found that when I use relaxation music during both an individual and group counseling session that my clients do more productive work, are able to focus more effectively on themselves and the issues that they are becoming present to because they are more relaxed, focused and centered and as a result, better able to concentrate. Being relaxed during the counseling process, at least initially always tends to generate more productive results for the individual being counseled. Relaxation music can be a very effective and powerful aid for assisting a client to reach resolution with respect to that which he or she is working on with their counselor.
As human beings we do not really want or like to change. We like for things to be the same, for us not to have to put forth much effect to have what we say we want. We do not want to change and even, will resist change especially if another human being attempts to help us. Yes, we do change but we have to first get it that we do not want to change. Accepting our resistance is important for the process. We must first accept the fact that we will resist change in order for us to take it into consideration in our planning to transform our lives. It is important for us to plan and to make goals but it is equally important for us to plan how we will resist the process, will resist our achieving the goals we set. Such planning gives us power to respond appropriately when needed.
In my work in recovery I counsel people in how to recognize when they are resisting, when they are doing things to counter the goals they set and say they want. Such insight is important and necessary if individuals are to say in the program of recovery. The resistance will also show up in the very suggestions that are given, by a sponsor or therapist. The tendency is not only to resist but to continue to do it his or her way, with the results usually the same, much of how it was in the past. Our tendency is to try to do things and life our way, even when we continue to get the same results.
The question of when is someone ready to transform his or her life is an important one to consider. Such a question is important for any therapist or sponsor to consider and contemplate. It is my opinion that a person is ready to transform their life when they are ready to do the work and become committed to the process. This does not mean that they will not resist the process as they definitely will resist. It does not mean that there will be no upsets or breakdowns during the person’s transformation because there will be, something that should be counted on happening. Resistance and breakdowns are part of the deal, part of the journey. In addition,a person is ready to transform his or her life when they begin to move their inquiry and focus to themselves and away from others, away from people, places and things, when they give up the blame and thinking that someone else is the cause of their life. A person is ready to transform their life when they start to assume responsibility for the life, for how they act, feel and think, for their very way of being.
There are many Red Flags for one who is in the process of recovery. In addition to not communicating with ones sponsor, other Red Flags are missing or being late for meetings, becoming to busy for recovery work, never doing the homework assigned by a sponsor or therapist, never sharing in meetings, complaining about the meeetings, a sponsor or counselor, creating disruptions in meetings, not listening to those sharing in meetings, falling asleep or being tired in meetings, being resistant or arguing about the topic or subject of the meeting and leaving the meeting before it is finished. Part of the work of a counselor or sponsor is to coach the addict into recognizing the Red Flags as they appear in his or her behavior and how to communicate the Red Flag to another person, specifically his or her sponsor or counselor.